Gender & Erotic Expression
Affirming somatic coaching to explore gender expression, desire, and intimacy, with space for kink, fetish, and BDSM curiosity. Explore what feels authentic to you, guided by your boundaries and consent.
For adults 18+ · Chicago & online
Come for one. Or both.
Some people arrive curious about gender—how they want to look, move, sound, be named, or be seen. Others arrive curious about kink, fetish, or power exchange. Some are drawn to both.
All of it is welcome here, each on its own terms.
Two different things. Gender exploration and erotic exploration are separate areas of work. Gender diversity is not a fetish, and a fantasy doesn’t decide who you are.
Two areas of exploration.
Gender exploration
An affirming space to explore how you experience and express your gender—at your pace, without needing a label or a destination.
Sessions can include
- Noticing how different ways of moving, standing, speaking, and taking up space feel in your body
- Trying on names, pronouns, or words that feel like you—just in session, or beyond it
- Client-led exploration of clothing, grooming, or self-presentation, only if and when you choose
- Reflecting on the messages you’ve received about gender and how they live in your body
- Exploring desire, pleasure, and intimacy as your expression evolves
- Preparing for conversations with partners or people close to you
You don’t need to know your identity—or change it—to do this work. Coaching can accompany your exploration; it isn’t a substitute for gender-affirming medical or mental health care. If you’d like that support, Mayra can refer you to affirming licensed professionals.
Kink, fetish & BDSM exploration
A grounded, shame-free space to get curious about what draws you—dominance and submission, power exchange, sensation, roleplay, fetish, or something you don’t have words for yet.
Sessions can include
- Mapping your desires, fantasies, and curiosities through conversation and body awareness
- Untangling curiosity, arousal, fear, and shame so you can see what’s really there
- Learning the foundations: negotiation, limits, safewords, check-ins, and aftercare
- Practicing how to ask for what you want—and how to say no to what you don’t
- Preparing to explore with a partner, or making sense of experiences you’ve already had
- Education on power dynamics, consent, and care before, during, and after an experience
A fantasy is information, not a verdict. Exploring one doesn’t define your identity, and you decide what—if anything—you want to act on.
Drawn to both?
For some people, gender and erotic expression touch each other. For many, they don’t. We take each thread at its own pace and let you decide how—or whether—they relate. Nothing here assumes one explains the other.
What a session can look like.
- A private conversation first.We talk about what’s drawing you here, what you hope to explore, and what’s off the table—before anything is booked.
- Arriving and agreeing.Each session opens with a check-in and a review of your limits, so you start from choice, not pressure.
- Exploration at your pace.Conversation, body awareness, breath, movement, and voice—chosen with you, never imposed.
- Integration.We close by noticing what you learned and, if you’d like, a small practice to take into your week.
Private coaching for individuals or partners, in Chicago or online.
What this is—and isn’t.
This is
- Somatic coaching and education for adults 18+
- Private sessions in Chicago and online, for individuals and partners
- A space to explore expression, desire, and kink with curiosity and consent
This isn’t
- Psychotherapy, crisis support, or a diagnosis
- Medical care or gender-affirming medical treatment
- Sexual services. Sessions are clothed, with no nudity, sexual activity, genital contact, or erotic touch from Mayra
Mayra Chaidez
Somatica®-trained sex and relationship coach, Certified Sexologist (American Board of Sexology), BDSM & kink educator trained with Shelby Devlin, and Certified Menopause Coach. Mayra works through a trauma-informed lens and refers out to licensed professionals when something falls outside the scope of coaching.
Questions, answered.
Do I need to know my gender identity—or have a label—to start?
No. You don’t need a label, a plan, or a destination. Curiosity is enough, and you can come back to the question as many times as you need.
I’m only interested in kink, not gender exploration. Is this for me?
Yes. You’re welcome whether you’re drawn to gender exploration, to kink, fetish, and BDSM, or to both. Each area stands on its own.
Does having a particular fantasy say something about my identity?
No. A fantasy is information about what moves you—not a verdict on who you are. Your identity is yours to define, and you decide what, if anything, you want to act on.
Is gender exploration treated as a kink here?
No. Gender diversity is not a fetish. Gender exploration and kink are separate areas of work. If both matter to you, we hold them side by side without treating one as an explanation for the other.
Can I come with a partner?
Yes. Sessions can be individual or with a partner—whether you’re exploring together or one of you wants support communicating about it.
Is this therapy?
No. This is coaching and education, not psychotherapy or medical care. When something calls for clinical, mental health, or medical support, Mayra can refer you to affirming licensed professionals.
What if something doesn’t feel right during a session?
Say so, or simply stop. You can pause, modify, or end any practice at any time. Your boundaries guide the session.
How do I begin?
Start with a private conversation. We’ll talk about what you’re curious about and whether this work is the right fit.
Start with a private conversation.
Tell us what you’re curious about. We’ll explore whether this work is the right fit—no commitment, and nothing you need to have figured out.
PleasureFWRD offers coaching and education—not psychotherapy, medical care, or hands-on bodywork. Everything is an invitation; participation is always optional.